This last Monday my very dear friend, Jeff, killed himself. His family has requested no memorial and no flowers.
I cried harder and hurt as much as when my youngest brother died. I want to respect the family’s request but I need a way to say goodbye to
Jeff in a gathering of people who loved him like I did.
We have been told no memorial but perhaps one day there will be a spontaneous gathering. We've been
told no flowers but this Friday my flowers are for Jeff.
Jeff, this orchid is for you. It started out spectacular but disease and bugs sapped it of vitality. I don't use chemicals to fight disease
and bugs so I set it outside and hoped sun and rain would make it stronger. Last week I was stunned to see it in spectacular bloom even
though every leaf was burned and eaten.
Jeff, I know your last thoughts were of isolation, hopelessness, shame and a horrible hole inside that could not be filled. You were as burned as the leaves on my orchid. It breaks my heart that you couldn’t find a way to fill that void inside and stay with us longer in full bloom.
I will miss you, my friend.
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